The Return of MomDad, Anchor Dog, and The Demon Children of Biscayne Boulevard

Heh, another long title. Oops. Anywho, that's right folks, my aunt - along with her two kids and their dog - have moved back in to my mom's house for a bit. So that means plenty of blog fuel.

They moved back in on Wednesday, so not much to talk about, besides the removal of a pillow barrier, with a swift knee plant to my back. I was also kicked out of my own bed by Anchor Dog, who is a black lab-pitbull mix. Fun stuff.

Depressing news: I was atrociously lied to about the availability of the Davey Havok Macbeth Studio Project (unless I'm too stupid to find them on the Loserkids website), so no walking on stars for me...yet.

Canada vs. Russia or Sid vs. Alex?

You may not be able to tell this from my incessant music-oriented ramblings, but my real passion lies in the brutish world of sporting - namely hockey. I'd take an open skate over an exclusive sound check any day, and stepping skate on frozen tundra is like coming home after a long and tedious family vacation. With my whole damn family. I think I'm secretly Canadian, and was adopted, which is why I'm totally gunning for Team Canada in this year's Winter Olympics, which began last Friday.

First off, I want to send my congrats to Team Canada on their first gold medal on home turf (home snow?) in men's moguls.

Anyway, Olympic hockey - the highlight of the competition in my eyes - begins today, so I thought I'd check the status of our sport from the mothership, NHL Network. Since the NHL isn't really functional at the moment, we just get the usual radio shows and one other feature replayed extremely redundantly while a large portion of NHL players are fighting for their countries in Vancouver, British Columbia. That program is:

Sid the Kid vs. Alexander the Great: The Olympians.

Oh boy. This comparison has been made since they both broke into the league in 2005. It was old then. It's ancient and inaccurate now.

Sid the Kid, or Pittsburgh Penguins' captain Sidney Crosby, is a native of Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia. He was drafted first overall in the lockout lottery in 2005, and has been the face of the league since. Not only does he have many awards to his name, Crosby has near-singlehandedly saved the Penguins franchise from financial destruction, and in 2009 became the youngest captain in history to hoist the Stanley Cup after beating the Detroit Red Wings. The only reason I'm not bitter is because I called it at the beginning of the season. This year, Crosby is participating in his first Olympic games, but is no stranger to representing Canada in international play.

Personally, I would hardly consider Crosby a "kid." He's accomplished much in his career, though he's only twenty-two years old.

Alexander "the Great" Ovechkin was taken first overall by the Washington Capitals in 2004. The Moscow, Russia native's rookie season was delayed due to the NHL Lockout, but it didn't slow him down any. Upon breaking into the league, Ovechkin was awarded the title of Rookie of the Year, narrowly beating out Crosby, and has since won a slew of scoring titles, but as of yet, his name does not appear on the Stanley Cup. This season is looking up for the young Capitals team, as Ovechkin was named captain last month, and the team sits atop the league standings. Ovechkin has represented Mother Russia in the 2006 Olympics in Torin, Italy, but the team missed out on receiving a medal.

Alexander is great, if I do say so myself.

I made the mistake of watching the program, in which the NHL Network played up the comparisons between the two immensely different players, and, like the rest of the national media, made Ovechkin look like the bad guy.

Crosby thrives on making the play, whereas Ovechkin is more of a goal scorer. Cosby is known for his two-way play, and excels at being a face-off center. Ovechkin, who usually plays left wing, is an explosive offensive force, scoring goals from insane angles and positions on the ice.

Hockey fans have been hearing this since day one. The part that really baffled me about the comparison was that the NHL Network had the balls to compare their off-ice lives as well. Crosby is extremely private, and his agent, Pat Brisson, makes most of his deals for him. Ovechkin adores the limelight, and is constantly spotted out on the town in DC hamming it up and being his usual, colorful self. He doesn't even have an agent - when he signed his thirteen-year deal with the Capitals, he had his mother with him.

Crosby, though the face of the NHL, has few endorsement deals (his most recognizable deals are with Reebok, Tim Horton's, and Gatorade), whereas Ovechkin has elevated himself to walking billboard status. And he's seen as the bad guy for that. If you ask me, the NHL should be kissing asses and thanking lucky stars that they've got such an available and current spokesman.

Crosby is seen as a wholesome, blushing figure; Ovechkin is the party-hearty bad boy. A suspension last month further projected the aggressive, ruthless appearance.

But the program had taken this to a whole new level, pitting the home countries of the superstars against each other - presumably for gold. While this is the match-up that I'm looking for, I feel like the NHL Network could have presented it as Canada vs. Russia, not Sid vs. Alex. We get enough of that during the season.

On another Still-relating-to-the-Olympics-but-not-even-remotely-close-to-hockey note, congrats to China's pair skating powerhouse of Shen/Zhou on their gold medal last night, and also to China's Pang/Tong on a nearly flawless free skate program which elevated them to a silver medal. Oh, and a shout-out to the participating members of the Battle crew: Sandra, Dick,

Jamie, Dave, and Scott. Can't wait 'til next season!

Tonight at 7 pm EST, it's men's hockey! Canada vs. Norway. GO CANADA!

Note: I have no idea why my line breaks aren't showing up, sorry.

Best News of My Life

I just discovered the best news of my life: Davey Havok's collaboration with Macbeth Footwear is in my price range! You could have these puppies for only $60!

Do I like the blue or the black? I can't decide...

In other Best News of My Life news, AFI's new video Beautiful Thieves came out at 6 AM yesterday, and guess who hauled their ass out of bed to watch it? That's right: ME! The video is absolutely fantastic and you should check it out here.

On yet another note involving AFI: today is drummer Adam Carson's birthday.

Happy birthday, Adam!

And the Grammy goes to...

So, as everyone out in pop culture land should know, the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards were held last night at the Staples Center in LA, and for the first time in a long while, I actually watched them. I also wrote a review of them, just for all the wonderful people that read my blog. Hah, who am I kidding? No one reads this blog; I wrote the review because I was bored out of my mind. And I only watched them because I was hoping for another Kanye West freak out.

So, ladies and gentlemen, the Grammys:

The night kicked off with a performance by the forever fabulous Lady Gaga. Totally wasn't expecting Elton John, but hey, I like him too, so it was all good.

Too bad Beyonce won song of the year. Poor Kanye couldn't continue to pick on Taylor Swift. Well, guess what, Beyonce? Imma let your writers finish, but I think Lady Gaga had the best song of all year! Of all year!

What's with Green Day performing with the cast of their musical? Musical? Indeed. After American Idiot, they got supremely annoying, but this is just the icing on the stop-caring-about-politics-and-go-back-to-being-the-Bay-Area-punk-ass-kids-that-everyone-loved-in-the-early-nineties cake.

Taylor Swift win count: one. Kanye West interruption count: zero. Apparently he didn't think that George Strait had a better country record than Taylor. It's a very sad day in the music industry when an artist has to thank their label for letting them write all their own songs. This is why I despise country music.

If Beyonce were a boy, would she sing "If I Were a Girl"? Wait, now she's covering Alanis Morissette?! Dear... holy shit! I'm so distraught over this, I can't even write an angry letter! I don't even know who to address it to!

So, that Canadian guy who sings "Hallelujah" won a Lifetime Achievement Award. Where's Claude Lemieux's? (see also: Battle of the Blades)

I adore Pink. I still need her new record. I admire her guts. I could never spin from the rafters of the Staples Center, nearly nude, in a rubber band-like contraption without vomiting or having an anxiety attack. Or both.

Dear Miranda Lambert, I love you, but your dress is bad. Signed, me.

Why isn't the alternative scene aptly represented at the Grammys? The Ting Tings and Silversun Pickups both lost to some obscure country band for best new artist. And I guess AC/DC won their first Grammy ever last night, even though Back in Black is the best selling record of all time worldwide. Of all time!

It's Miley! In a skanky ass dress. Big shocker.

Oh my God, the Jonas Brothers!

Spinal Tap is back?! They lost best comedic record because this time, their amps weren't on eleven.

Single of the year: Use Somebody, by Kings of Leon, whom I despise. Seriously guy, get a new voice. A less annoying one. And, they're self-labeled drunks. They totally deserve a Grammy for shitty music and alcohol promotion.

What? Jamie Foxx and T-Pain got pretty theatrical for their introduction. Heh, rappers attempting opera. Hell, rappers attempting music is hilarious as it is. And Slash? Slash, honey, I know all your side projects have bombed (I blame Axl), but you don't have to sell out and help rappers.

Dear Justin Beiber, tell your testicles to drop, please. Signed, me.

Alice Cooper! How could you tell me that Green Day had the best rock record of the year?! I am disappoint. Okay, so I secretly liked Billy Joe Armstrong in Live Freaky! Die Freaky! Don't tell anyone.

For real, who the hell is the Zac Brown Band? I don't think I can call myself a music nerd anymore because of these people!

Dear Ryan Seacrest, the seventeen year old girl you're introducing is taller than you. Fail. Signed, me. Taylor win count: three. Kanye interruption count: zero. So Taylor Swift can play guitar, but can she play more than four notes? What's this - a collaboration with Stevie Nicks? I didn't expect that. God, every time I find something wrong with Taylor Swift, she redeems herself by singing "Rhiannon" with Stevie Nicks (or something equally as great). I might actually have to own up to liking Taylor Swift now. Damn.

Lionel Ritchie can do it "All Night Long". A Michael Jackson tribute in 3D? Okay then. Celine Dion (I hate you, Calgary. You know why.) and Usher actually sound good together. With Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson, not so much. I am not crying, I swear. Oh my God, two of his kids accepted his Lifetime Achievement Award. Now I am definitely not crying. Damn you, Micheal Jackson. Why did you die?!

Dear Sheryl Crow, your earrings are massive and could probably be used to kill someone. Just wanted to make sure you're aware of this. Signed, me.

Dear Bon Jovi, I'm so sick of you that I fast-forwarded through all three of your performances. Try not to take it personally. Also, of course the fans want to hear "Livin' on a Prayer". It is quintessential Bon Jovi from before I was born; thank random deities that I didn't have to hear it on every radio station in existence in its heyday. Signed, me.

What is a rap/sung collaboration? Okay, I guess Jay Z, Kanye, and Rihanna are. And, alas, no Kanye in attendance, which is why he hasn't wreaked havoc on society yet.

Haiti Relief rambling from Wyclef Jean. Awesome.

Grammy museum? Sounds like a waste of money to me.

Adam Sandler, I love you. Dave Matthews, I don't love you, sorry.

Dude, Ricky Martin, shut up. Beyonce won best female for "Halo". I'm sure that wherever Kanye West is, he's ecstatic that Beyonce is finally getting the recognition she deserves!

Mama said knock LL Cool J out. Who the hell is Maxwell?

In memoriam: Michael Jackson, DJ AM, Les Paul. Great Les Paul tribute. Loved it. Best performance of the night, by far.

The unanswerable questions of the final performance: Why does Quentin Tarantino think he's so cool? Since when did Travis Barker start wearing shirts? Is rap really considered music? What is going on with the sound? Where the hell did Eminem get those ugly shoes? Didn't that Drake guy play on Degrassi: The Next Generation? How could he win a Grammy before his first record is even released? Can I hate rap but absolutely adore Eminem without sounding like a hypocrite?

Record of the year: Fearless, by Taylor Swift. Now I'm really upset that Kanye West wasn't there; Taylor beat out I am Sasha Fierce, by Beyonce. Final tally - Taylor: four. Kanye: zero.

All in all: Same shit, different Grammys. Fail.